Anthony Barnes LCSW #118946 He/Him

As a cis-gay man I’ve spent the better part of my adult life unlearning the harmful messages our world tells us about what is means to be LGBTQIA+ - that we’re somehow broken or unworthy. You are not broken. You are not unworthy. You are fabulous and vibrant and deserving of all the gifts this world has to offer.

I am also bicultural and a card carrying member of the Pala Band of Mission Indians and understand navigating two different cultures and identities in more than one way and my heritage has shaped many of my experiences.  My deep understanding of how this impacts a person shows up in my work with humans and their natural desire for belonging but also retain their own identity.

I became a therapist to share what I’ve learned and to bring healing not just to queer folks, but to anyone who knows what it feels like to be left out. When we work together, you can expect a safe, affirming, and sometimes silly space where we collaborate to find real solutions that you or you and your partner(s) can implement into your daily life now. 

I have found mindfulness and inner-child work alongside CBT and DBT-informed therapy practices can be super helpful in addressing those tough feelings like depression and anxiety that many of us encounter in our pursuit to becoming our most authentic selves. In my work with couples, I utilize a Gottman informed framework along with a perspective of balancing the individual and the relationship to bring a deeper understanding of how your individual issues are manifesting in your relationship and how you can work together to overcome them. 

Is your perfectionism keeping you from trying new things? Are you compensating in one area of your life because your ashamed of who you are? Do you find yourself masking certain parts of your identity in certain settings? Much of my work has been focused on all three since so many of us in the queer community struggle with this. I will help by holding a safe space to confront these issues so that we may cultivate an inner voice that is kind and compassionate rather than cruel and criticizing.  

Are you and your partner(s) having difficulty communicating? Seem like you’re fighting all the time? Difficulty with sex? Or maybe you’re interested in renegotiating the terms of your relationship. I am firm believer in all types of relationships - monogamous, ethically non-monogamous, polyamorous, kinky, sub/dom etc. Together we will explore the contours of your relationship to gain a better understanding of the problem and adapt solutions to your specific needs. You can expect a non-judgmental space where you can speak freely about what you want and need from your relationship.  I provide individual and couples/relationship services for the entire state of California via telehealth.